Thursday, September 30, 2010

a haiku's brief...

A haiku's brief is
to evoke wonder in three
lines. A haiku's brief.




17 not-quite-so-sillybles...

Sunday, September 26, 2010

the ironic Samaritan...

I found God last week.
He was confused and wandering the streets.


So I took him in.



Just as billions of gullible people have been taken in by him over the years.



It's what I do...

Friday, September 24, 2010

hanging baskets - the case for...

Pity the death row inmate who can appeal only until the bitter end -
a basket, once hung, continues to appeal for weeks.

Respect...

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

social work? - ah, yes, I remember it well...

- the natural world -

a man beating his woman
was as a butterfly
beating its wings...




- or, as someone once never said, "you can't beat nature - but everything else is fair game" -



("he's lovely when he's not drunk")

Monday, September 20, 2010

family trees...

I'm descended from a long line of haiku writers.


Or should
that be three
short lines?...


('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

Friday, September 17, 2010

the lean machine*...

My sister tips the scales at 15 stone.
When she tips them a tad more, she's
only 14 stone 8...


(*it's knowing how much to lean, apparently)


- do not attempt this with digital scales -

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

when absence makes the heart grow fonder...

if distance is no
object, then who am I to
object to distance?...



- putting the 'far' into caring far more...



('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

home sweet home (size 6)

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe -
And, boy, was she happy!...
"You just can't beat'em! -
proper homes with proper heels!"...


(she'd only ever lived in flats before)

Monday, September 13, 2010

modesty becomes me...

So many people I come across look upon me as a perfect stranger.

Flattering, of course, but hard to live up to...



- though it sure beats trying to be a perfect gentleman, which wasn't always easy (I may be a bit of a loner now, but I still believe in maintaining standards)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Walkers Crisps: fast food? - hardly...

Anyway, I'm not a great fan of fast food -
except for a certain type bean, of course.

The runner...

Saturday, September 11, 2010

unrequited love...

"t'wasn't the rose that
gave me a prick, t'was the prick
that gave me a rose"...


I guess she means me - I should have known she was more of a rocks 'n' chocs sort of girl...



('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

dancing in the street...(with apologies)

figure skating n. ice skating in which the skater traces outlines of selected patterns.

nigure skating n. as above, but on black ice.



ironic, really: a PC's the one place you needn't be...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

My wife's a rolypolyglot -
that's fat in anyone's language.


Well, in quite a few, anyway...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

the 70th anniversary of the Blitz...

When he realized how expensive a long war might turn out to be, Hitler thought he'd try to raze some capital. By opting for London, he was indeed asking for it.

And he got what he was asking for. Eventually...

September 7, 1940.

Monday, September 6, 2010

turns out the left hand's the right hand...

I tried my hand at ventriloquy yesterday -
but, boy, was I crap...
"Try the other hand, dummy." Said the dummy.
Bingo!

Friday, September 3, 2010

the passion for travel...

----- A FLIGHT OF FANTASY (now boarding) -----

I like to arrive at airports
with an hour in hand:
it's cheaper than luggage,
and you can pack a lot into it...

(mind you, if you can lay your hands on a case that's been thrown out of court...)