Sunday, September 30, 2012

toadying up to the neighbours - not.

*********************************

The French sure love to
eat snails. Horrible, slimy
things. Just like the snails...

*********************************




















(Avoiding The Marrakesh Snail Stalls: 17 Syllables)

Saturday, September 29, 2012

going up before the judge (or with him?)

**********************************

"floor?" asked the judge in
the lift...I pleaded the fifth...
he pressed...the court rose...

**********************************

















('Pleading The Fifth - Pressing Buttons, Not Charges': 17 Syllables)

Friday, September 28, 2012

hey, I'm working on it...

***********************************

to many, I'm a
perfect stranger - I'm flattered...
but perfect? -  hardly...

***********************************









- talk about being alone in a crowd...is there another main square anywhere on the planet quite like Marrakech's Djemaa el-Fna? And a heck of a crowd it is, too: snake-charmers, monkeys, musicians, cross-dressing dancers, storytellers, clowns, medicine-men, acrobats, teenage pugilists, exotically-dressed water-sellers, food stalls by the dozen, speeding motorbikes, horse-drawn carriages, wide-eyed tourists, touting locals...well, you get the idea. And all of them strangers...
Looking rather sorry for itself, a small dirt-encrusted and urine-stained Unesco monument declares the Square to be a 'Masterpiece of the Oral and Intangible Heritage of Humanity' in 2001...










('A Moroccan'roll Lifestyle': 17 Syllables)

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

an innocent abroad...

**********************************

"'tout', you say? - well, blow
me if the French don't have a
word for everything"...

**********************************

















('Notes from Marrakech':17 Syllables)

Monday, September 24, 2012

the holy spirit...

*********************************

yes, Muslims drink - but
that's fine...provided they do
so religiously...

*********************************

















(Vincent Hefter, News at Ten, Marrakech:17 Syllables)

Friday, September 21, 2012

alcoholic (dis)content...

***************************

never get bitter
after a break-up - lager
works better, I find...

***************************



















('Bitter or Lager': 17 Syllables)

Monday, September 17, 2012

that, and Parliament once (a narrow loss)

******************************

National Anthems? -
They represent everything
I've ever stood for...

******************************


















(17 Syllables)

Friday, September 14, 2012

A Brit and a broad. Abroad...

************************************

"my girlfriend's from France" -
"really? what part?" - "all of her,
as far as I know"...

************************************











- talking of 'abroad', for the next few weeks postings will be intermittent whilst yours truly, too, ventures on his latest trip beyond the familiar confines of his scent-marked 'Oyster card territory' and bids yet another sad adieu to the local Cafe Nero...












('A French Wench Gets One Over On Those Awful Norfolk Broads': 17 Syllables)

Thursday, September 13, 2012

In praise of the dab - a flatfish that knows it's plaice. Not.

*********************************

"hungry, love?"..."God, yes -
how many fish fingers are
there in a dab hand?"...

*********************************



















('3 Short Fishing Lines': '17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

so YOU'RE the jerk of 'clean and jerk'?...

**********************************

"just how much have you
raised for charity?" - "10 lbs,"
said the weightlifter...

**********************************



















('The Raising of Alms': 17 Syllables)

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

if you can't beat 'em, join 'em...

**************************************

want to celebrate
the Paralympic Games? - (when
in Rome) get legless!...

**************************************





















('When in Rome': 17 Syllables)

Monday, September 10, 2012

The Paralympic Games...

***************************************

"parachuting?" - I
always thought that was shooting
for the disabled...

***************************************












what a summer - it's been emotional...












('Parashooting': 17 Sillybles)

Sunday, September 9, 2012

waiter, there's an F, L and Y in my soup...

*********************************

love alphabet soup
but hate eating vegetables? -
stay clear of the P's...

*********************************



















(17 Rather Sillybles)

Saturday, September 8, 2012

routine rooting...

************************************

I'm in a same sex
marriage - every bloody month,
the same bloody sex...

************************************



















('Same ol',  Same ol': 17 Syllables)

Friday, September 7, 2012

I'm an all-time great Olympic official, me...

************************************

"I raised the bar when
it came to high-jumping". ("For
others to jump" - Ed.)

************************************



















(17 Syllables)

Thursday, September 6, 2012

always have - I think...

****************************

do I suffer from
selective memory? - no,
I quite enjoy it...

****************************



















(17 Syllables)

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

seasoned campaigners...

******************************************

The troops were mustered.
"Hell," they all thought, "assaulted...
peppered...now mustard?"...

******************************************



















('17 Syllables plus' re-mix)

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

winter paralympic classifications...

********************************

it's great to ski on
a level playing field - but it's
hard to build up speed...

********************************




















('Great News - He's Going Downhill Fast': 17 Rather Sillybles)

Monday, September 3, 2012

success - it can go to your head...

******************************************

keeping your feet on
the ground's pretty hard when you're
a quadriplegic...

******************************************




















('The Paralympics': 17 Syllables)

Sunday, September 2, 2012

everything's made in China, right?...

***********************************

"dad's gone to meet his
Maker, darling" - "will he have
to use chopsticks, mum?"...

***********************************



















(17 Syllables)

Saturday, September 1, 2012

surely on waughter it oughter be 'daughter'?..

*******************************

My wife's giving birth
by Sea-section. So I guess
it'll be a buoy...

*******************************




















(It's My Mrs, She's Dropped Anchor: (er, Paul Anka?): 17 Syllables)