Thursday, January 31, 2013

forget the route vegetables, though...

*****************************************

Spaghetti Junction's
great when you're hungry - just grab
that fork in the road...

*****************************************



















('Sure beats Birmingham and eggs': 17 Syllables)

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

heavy metal...

*********************************

I hired a fork lift
truck this morning - I've lifted
twelve of them to date...

*********************************




















('No More Forks in the Road': 17 Syllables)

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

down in the mouth...

*******************************************

when a dentist gets
depressed, the mouth he looks down
in is rarely his...

*******************************************



















(17 Syllables)

Monday, January 28, 2013

whores riding - racy, or what?...

*************************************

"and they're off!" she cried -
no wonder they're called jockey
shorts; quite a ride, too...

*************************************


















('Madame Whiplash': 17 Syllables)

Sunday, January 27, 2013

off colour...

***********************************

drinking Red Label
and Blue Label can make you
violetly ill...

***********************************


















('No n of a Good Time': 17 Syllables)

Saturday, January 26, 2013

it's a co-operative - a very co-operative...

********************************

"a tart in charge of
a tearoom? - talk about the
tail wagging the dog!"...

********************************

















('The Table's Laid - The Punter Not Yet': 17  Syllables)"

Friday, January 25, 2013

Duncan Disorderly...

****************************************

we knew he was drunk
when he saw the 'Wet Paint' sign -
and tried to oblige...

****************************************



















(17 Syllables)

Thursday, January 24, 2013

strokes kill (well, not always)

*******************************

"why were you swimming
in the sea, son?" - "I didn't
fancy drowning, dad"...

*******************************



















('Diff'rent Strokes': 17 Sillybillybles)

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

the quiet before the storm...

*******************************

the sea is silent
in 'indict' (the tide must be
out with the jury)

*******************************



















(17 Syllables)

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

non-urgentlemen of the world, unite!...

*******************************

never put off till
tomorrow what can wait till
the week after next...

*******************************



















('Dilly-dally Daily': 17 Syllables)

Monday, January 21, 2013

undying love...

*********************************

I've just picked a bunch
of forget-me-nots - but can't
remember for whom...

*********************************













(17 Syllables)

Sunday, January 20, 2013

large light, small bushel...

*********************************

People say I'm good
at humility. 'Good?...the
BEST' (I've always thought.)

*********************************


















(17 Syllables)

Saturday, January 19, 2013

prevention is better than cure...

**********************************

a blind eye turned to
glaucoma is a blind eye
that could have been saved...

**********************************



















(17 Syllables)

Friday, January 18, 2013

Brief Encounter...

TUESDAY...
"to look into your
eyes is to marvel at the
beauty of your soul"...

WEDNESDAY...
"to wallow in your
arms is to wonder at the
beauty of the world"...

THURSDAY...
"I would forfeit a
year of my life just to spend
one more hour with you"...

FRIDAY...
"We need to talk".




Sunday, January 13, 2013

if I only knew then...

********************************************

Yes, I, too, was young
once.Though I've always thought once
wasn't quite enough...

********************************************









Seen on billboards and clothing here in Gambia: 'We are grateful to Allah for President Jammeh'...'It is your sacred duty to vote for this man' - and you're wondering why Gambia, like pretty much all other African nations, is, quote, a developing country. Hard to believe the world sits back and allows such arseho*es ("I can cure Aids in 3 days") to assume and maintain power for such prolonged periods of time. And he's by no means the worst of the bunch, of course. When will it all end?...

End of rant.







(17 Syllables)

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

a sting in the tale...

***********************

I don't believe in
astrology. Typical
Scorpio, that's me...

***********************
















(17 Syllables)

Monday, January 7, 2013

Settling for the University of Life...

***********************************

I went to school once.
Looking back, 'once' probably
wasn't quite enough...

***********************************



















(17 Slightly Sillybles)

Saturday, January 5, 2013

a right crystal balls-up...

************************************

"I'm leaving you," said
the clairvoyant, "your tryst next
spring's the final straw!"...

************************************


















(2020 Vision - well, 2013, anyway: 17 Syllables)

Friday, January 4, 2013

there's no substitute for - oops, spoke too soon...

*********************************

"it's you or your skills -
if your footballing skills don't
come off, then you do"...

*********************************

















('The Journeyman Footballer': 17 Syllables)